KalYouBloggin.

So Close I Can [Taste] It…

Previously: So Close I Can [Smell] It…
Previously: So Close I Can [Feel] It… 

Prior to beginning to write this final installment in my coffee-themed road to graduation chronicle, I decided to go back and read the previous two entries, and I can’t believe that 8 months have passed since I decided to start this. Looking back at my journey so far, it was most definitely not a cakewalk.

This past quarter was most likely the roughest, with the most stressful finals, that I’ve had to endure along the way. Having four studio classes with no gen. ed. classes to act as a bit of a buffer, my plate was always more than full and it was not easy. I mentioned previously that I was going to need to take care not to burn myself and I must say, I definitely had some close calls throughout that quarter. Overall, my outlook on the results of my classes are pretty diverse.

There were two classes that I came out of with some pretty good work that I’m proud of and I’m currently developing further to become solid portfolio pieces.
One class that I had to work with a group for the first time ever to develop and design a project over the course of the quarter. For this class, I was happy with my personal results from my contributions to the project, but the project as a whole was a bit lackluster.
My last class was the one that gave me the most trouble, as it was my only early morning class (which I have not had to deal with for over a year, thus was out of practice). In the end, I came out with a few projects that I’m proud of in that one as well, although I was not necessarily proud of my contribution as a whole.

All in all, aside from a few potential portfolio pieces, the most valuable thing I gained from this past quarter was knowledge from a teacher I had never known before. He’s been around, though he teaches in a different field so I’d never had him for a class in the past. However, this quarter I had two classes from him and ended up learning a lot about logo designing and web design in particular (since he is primarily a web design teacher). Although we didn’t necessarily develop a close bond or anything like that, I developed enough of relationship with him that I could bring my portfolio to him and trust him to critique it honestly.

Still, although I’m so close to graduation, the one thing that’s been stressing me out the most over the past few weeks is that I need an internship to actually be able to finish out the quarter. Over the past few weeks, all I’ve seen are a few missed opportunities, but earlier today I got my first chance to actually land something that sounds fun and like something that would be a valuable opportunity. All I need now is to wait for my advisor to give it the thumbs-up and I’ll be ready to go.

So, I got through the quarter without any major injuries, I have a potential internship right before my grasp, and now here I am, settled down and ready to enjoy my drink. I took the first sip today and as expected, the beginning is still sweet, light, and fluffy. From here, the quarter is looking entirely manageable; it’s all a matter of taking control of it and not letting it control me (which I have been known to allow to happen in the past). As I continue to drink, I know things will quickly go from sweet and light, to bitter and maybe a bit harsh. The most important thing for me to remember is that I can’t let up on the work, this is the home stretch and I need to put in 100%. 

Relax, take it one sip at a time, work hard.

This is will be my mantra for my final quarter. It’s all right in the palms of my hands; 6 years of hard work has led me to this, and I am not going to drop this spill everywhere. I will to do everything I can to see this through to the very last, bittersweet drop.

Challenge Accepted.

One of the most rewarding lessons, I believe, that one could learn, is to realize and accept the consequences of their actions (whether good or bad) as a result of their own choices. The reason why this is on my mind at the moment is the fact that I am currently midway through my first all-nighter in quite some time. However, I’m not here to complain about it, I’ve already come to accept the fact that I only find myself in this situation as a result of my own choices, and there’s nothing else that I can do about it now. I had the opportunity to do more of my work earlier on, yet I chose to put it off (as so many of us usually do) in lieu of more interesting (and sometimes even less interesting) activities. Even the decision to pull an all-nighter in itself was my decision; it’s not even entirely necessary, I could finish my work with time to spare and sleep some, but I’m choosing to do this in order to set myself into a better position where I will be ahead on my work, rather than catching up or even right on task. In the long run, I’m hoping that this sacrifice will be beneficial.

I could try to place blame on teachers for placing due dates so close to each other, or my boss for making me attend a work meeting rather than allowing me to do my school work. But in reality, I know that I am the only one that put myself here now; having chosen to improperly utilize the rest of my free time in the days leading up to this. By understanding this one simple fact, it makes life a bit easier and a bit more enjoyable, because I don’t have an unreasonable resentment towards others whom I try to blame for my lack of sleep.

And so ends my ten minute break in an attempt to muster up some energy to help me power through the night. With Barney and the rest of the How I Met Your Mother gang keeping me company in the background, it’s time for me to dive back into this ocean of graphic design that I call my life.

Late sauce.

So Close I Can [Feel] It…

Previously: So Close I Can [Smell] It…

Eyes half open with my mind in a zombie state, bitter black coffee trying to kick my brain into gear, grumbles of hunger emanating from my neighbor’s stomach as if it was a guard dog trying to shoo me away… it must be the first week of a new quarter. 

And that it is, the beginning of my second to last quarter till I graduate in fact. Each day I feel like I realize more and more of what I have to do and I can already feel the stress building ever so little at a time. I need to take heed of this and actually make attempts to catch it before it builds too much. The good thing is that last quarter helped do a lot to get me starting on my preparations for this last stretch.

As I had previously mentioned, I had to take a Portfolio Prep class; I came out of that class with an immense amount of new knowledge from the graduating seniors as far as preparation for the end and with a good amount of my own work prepared for my portfolio show and graduation. Still, I am only a fraction of the way done with where I need to be in the upcoming months. Right now, I have a preliminary idea of my print portfolio layout (which is likely going to be changing quite a bit) and a revised version of my website (which is still a work in progress). With these in place, I still need to think about doing informational interviews with potential employers, start researching print prices and techniques, business card printing, designing give-aways for my portfolio show table, getting an interview for my last quarter… at the moment the list appears to be never-ending. The most important thing is to take a deep breath, take a step back, and take my time. I know I have a lot to do, but the reality of it is that I still have two quarters worth of time left, rather than only one. So, I can’t let the gravity of the situation overwhelm me; I need to take control and steer it, one thing at a time. 

Previously, I was only as close to my Cappucino as to be able to smell it. The bitterness of the espresso was fresh in my nose and I was ready to grab it and go. Now, with the beginning of this new quarter, I’ve taken a step forward; I’m closer now to the end and the coffee is in my hands. However, the mild warmth of the cup is deceivingly hiding the scalding hot contents. I have to handle the next quarter carefully, as I mentioned, and go one step at a time. With care, I’ll make it through, with the inevitable lost drop here and there, but if I’m careless with my time, I could lose control and only end up getting burnt.

So Close I Can [Smell] It…

Wait… what?? The title sounds a little odd and maybe kinda gross when read out of context, but I’m actually referring to my graduation day. I’ve mentioned it a few times, and I suppose that it’s not actually all that close time-wise, (I still have three quarters, around 8 months) but I keep thinking about it. This is why I’ve decided (and hopefully will stick to this decision) to make a multi-part series, chronicling my experience of finishing up these last few quarters leading up to the big day.

The end of last quarter brought up a lot of changes in my life as far as priorities and decisions go, and it leaves me at a bit of a crossroads. For the last few weeks, I made a huge shift of priorities as I dedicated a large portion of my time to doing schoolwork and ended up having to sacrifice a lot of the time I previously spent on hanging out with friends. While this ended up putting a larger stress than I had anticipated on my friendships, I can’t say that I regret or would change the decision I made. Those last few weeks really showed me that I know how to work hard, prioritize my assignments, and get good results and I’m really happy about that. Most importantly, they showed me that it’s possible to have a low-stress finals week! (please note that it was still only low-stress, I’m not sure the no-stress finals week is possible). This is something that I’ve been striving for for years ever since my academic career began taking a downturn, and it’s something that I am very proud of achieving. I was even able to carry that through my week break from school and finally start working on my portfolio website which I have been putting off for the longest time. It’s still in its very early stages, a work in progress, but I’m hoping that within the next few weeks, I’ll be able to present a functioning website (we’ll see what happens, that might be wishful thinking). 

Now, I feel like I’ve gotten a bit ahead of myself; I suppose I still haven’t explained the awkwardness of my title. As I said, I’m still three quarters out from my graduation day, so I didn’t feel quite right saying that it’s “so close I can taste it”. Rather, I say I can smell it because it’s close enough that I have some sense of it, but it’s still fairly faint. As of right now, I think I’d say it smells kind of like… a Caramel Macchiato (or some other type of sweet coffee drink, pick one you like). Now how does this make sense?

A Caramel Macchiato has the sweet smell of caramel (obviously), the creamy smell of the light foam on top, but it still has that faint bitter scent of the espresso underneath all of the fluffiness. And that’s kind of how I see graduation at the moment. The fact that it’s so far away allows it to seem so sweet and easy; I think about it and that it’s coming up, but I don’t feel the stress of anything quite yet… at least, not that much. There’s still the faint idea that I know it’s going to be stressful, I know it’s not gonna be easy in the time leading up to it, trying to prepare and finalize my portfolio, but that time’s not gonna be coming for a little while, so I try not to think about it.

In these next 8 months, I’ll be getting prepared as much as I can to get out there into the real world. I’m already planning on dipping my feet in the water and trying out some logo design projects I’ve been following for a while; just to get myself into freelancing and hopefully get some extra cash in my pocket. For graduation though, I look forward to having to get my portfolio pieces chosen and finalized, finishing up work on my website, finding an internship, and starting to market myself out there as an upcoming Graphic Designer. But for now, while I still can, I’m gonna take the time to kick back and smell the coffee.

UPDATE: Considering I never actually posted this earlier when I first finished writing it, I guess it doesn’t really seem like an update to anyone other than me. Anyway, after finishing my first day of this new quarter, the reality of graduation has sunk in a little more… actually, it kind of sunk in the way a fist punching me in the face would sink in to my cheek. My last class of the night was my Portfolio Prep class, getting me ready to create my online and physical portfolio for presentation at graduation, and I gotta say, that class was intense. The amount of work that we need to get done and the time frame it’s scheduled in, the teacher, the level of work that’s expected, everything was very in your face. Coming out of the class, I took two things from it…

A reality check of what I need to get done… and that it needs to happen sooner than I expected. As you could tell from what I wrote prior to the update, I was fully prepared to set this ride on cruise control for a while and let it happen. But I’ve really come to realize that that it’s not gonna work that way; if anything’s gonna happen, I need to make it happen.

A defibrillation to my brain, jolting it with new found excitement and energy. Not only have I realized I need to make things happen, I’m ready to make them happen. Seeing some of the work of students I’ve been looking up to for the past years, I’m ready to be that for someone else. These guys don’t realize I’ve been seeing and admiring their work, and I only hope that I can be the same for someone else.

After tonight, I can definitely say the air has changed a little bit. I don’t know if I’d necessarily call it a Caramel Macchiato anymore, maybe we’ll switch it over to a Cappuccino… dry with an extra shot of espresso (still fluffy, but a little more bitter, I’m glad I can still make some use of my old Starbucks training).

The Last Day I’ll Kiss the Sky.

Diving head first into a textbook, swimming through the information, word after word, page after page, critically analyzing art, comparing and contrasting, applying the concepts and styles to the past, present, and future… It was an average Saturday night for me (or at least, that’s become what average is). Homework every weekend from Thursday straight to Sunday has become my routine, but you won’t hear me complaining about it. Because in some strange way, I’ve actually come to enjoy it. Today was just like my past few Saturdays with one key difference, with the final click of my mouse, as I submitted the assignment, that marked not just the end of this week, but essentially the end of my Summer. And now, suddenly, I’m heading into my first week of Autumn (starting it off properly with my church’s Fall Festival tomorrow). 

Sweet apples, cool crisp air, crunchy leaves beneath my feet, beautiful colors filling the trees, racing through cornfield mazes, warm hoodies, hot apple cider, and cold nights sharing a blanket with that special someone.

I’m totally ready for Autumn to get underway. As I look back on the past few Summer months, it amazes me how much actually happened and the amount that I learned. From school lessons to life lessons, I feel like there wasn’t a moment where I wasn’t learning something. 

From website development which I can use to finally start up my portfolio to learning (not firsthand) what happens when you drink too much at a family wedding.
From appreciation and understanding of ancient to contemporary art (Impressionism and Post Impressionism are my favorite movements) to the strength, fragility, and importance of friendship.
From time management and prioritization of schoolwork (a lesson it may have helped to learn a little while earlier) to the difference a year can make and the influence that one person can make on my life, motivating me and showing me how to use a side of me that I’ve always known was there, but could never quite harness… she truly brings out the best in me.

And now with the Summer past, I’m heading into the final stretch of my college career. I’m starting to get anxious, excited, and to be honest, the idea of having to get a big boy job kinda freaks me out a little bit. But I just need to keep going, and keep applying the lessons I’ve learned, because if I didn’t, what would be the point of learning them in the first place?

Late sauce.

PS - bonus points to anyone that can name the song reference in the title… without Googling it.

Life in Numbers [6].

6 strings on a standard guitar. 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon. 6 afraid of seven because seven ate nine. 6 quarters left in my college career.

Hell, I’ll even throw in another one for good measure…

6 years of my life have been devoted to my college education.

At the age of six years old, I was just beginning my educational journey. I still have fond memories of elementary school. My time from Kindergarten to fifth grade is full show and tell, recess, puppy love, birthday parties, building snow forts, and so much more. This was the height of my childhood and quite possibly the most nostalgic portion of my life thus far.

In sixth grade, I made my next step, moving from my elementary to middle school years. The transition from elementary to middle school was not a big deal, though it was very exciting at the time. It didn’t involve new classmates, a new building, and barely any new teachers (I attended a private school with joint elementary and middle schools). Though, it still marked a stepping stone in my life.

When I turned sixteen, I was halfway through my high school period. Following my elementary and middle school years, my high school years were little to be remembered. Though, while for some, these years are difficult to remember due to the introduction to alcohol and drug use, this is far from the case for me. I didn’t have anyof the classic high school experiences; no drinking, no drugs, no sex, not even any dating or romantic endeavors. For me, high school is nothing but a blur of forgetful and forgotten instances; four years of memories that I struggle to condense into what feels like anything more than ten, maybe twenty minutes of time.

It wasn’t till six years ago, the beginning of my college education, that I began to discover who I was… who I am today. The past six years have been an incredible journey that has molded me, calloused me, overall transformed me, and, primarily, introduced me to myself. I’m still in disbelief thinking that within the next two years, I will be done with my educational career (at least for now) and thrust into the real world to use my many years of experience to fend for myself. Two years may sound like still a long time to some people, but considering that I expected to be done by now, I have a feeling it’s going to go by in the blink of an eye. 

I’m not sure where I’ll be six years from now, but to be honest, I’m not in a huge rush to find out.  I’m happy with the pace my life is set at right now; I’m able to work hard and still take time to enjoy the (big) little things in my life. One thing that I can be certain about for the future, these past six years have been the most memorable of my life, and I look forward to sharing stories of them with friends and loved ones for years to come.

Time is nothing but a number, it’s up to us to get the most that we can out of it.

Blahg.

It’s weird, I feel like I have this innate urge to write, or blog, right now, yet I have no idea what to blog about. I don’t have any particular topic that’s weighing heavy on my mind, I just know that I have this deep urge to write… and so that’s what I’m doing. I’ve come to the conclusion that whatever this blog turns out to be, whatever crap it may be filled with, whether it be ten paragraphs or ten sentences long, I’ll post it. So, I warn you reader, if you have no interest in knowing what kind of crap is floating around in my head, turn back now, because my current course of action is to write until I feel fulfilled. And so it begins…

It’s a funny thing, I got my final text book in the mail today, and strangely enough, I was happy to get it. Not just happy because I don’t need to wait anymore or anything like that, but I’m actually looking forward to reading it… a text book… I never thought I’d look forward to reading a text book…

Another thing that I never thought would happen, I think I’m starting to become a shoe person. You know those people with the ridiculous obsession with shoes and have millions of pairs? I never really understood it, I’m still not quite sure I understand all of them, but I’m starting to become one… if only on a lower level. I’m not planning on going out and buying a million pairs of shoes, but I could definitely go for a few more pairs…

Before I can do that though, or really before I can do any spending at all, I need money to spend. Luckily, I finally got the job that I’ve been waiting for for so long. I had to go in for a drug test yesterday and I think I did a pretty good job if I do say so myself. Filled the cup all the way to the line. That line was deceiving though, I thought it was lower than it actually turned out to be. But at least I’ll be making money again soon and I’m already planning on how I’m gonna be spending it. Taking care of repaying some debts, a few miscellaneous purchases here and there, most importantly though, I need to actually save. This is something I’ve been talking about for a long time, but I actually have things to save for now. I have at least three trips coming up in the next year: China, California, and New York. China is a potential study abroad for a week this summer. It would be a pretty short trip, but I’d be so excited if it pulls through. California is a definite trip this summer for a cousin’s long-awaited marriage this summer. And New York is for next New Year’s Eve, a trip that fell through this past year but is definitely gonna happen next year. On top of all of this, I’m hoping I’ll actually be able to put money aside too, it’ll be tough, but I think I can make it happen…

Aside from all of those trips, I have really gotten the urge to travel to Europe lately. I want to go to Paris to walk through the Louvre, Santorini to see the beautiful buildings, Athens to visit the Parthenon, Giza to witness the Great Pyramids… ok, so Egypt is in Africa, but still… I just wanna travel the world. One day…

I can feel my passion for my work and for dance growing every day. I may have my off days with one or the other, or even both, but it’s not too incredibly hard to push myself, because I really do love them both. I’ve often thought about my past and what I thought my future was going to be, a part of me used to be skeptical of where I am now compared to my old future, but I’m even more sure now that this is the right path for me. My old future could have been more financially stable and I may have even had more money now had I stayed on the same path, but I definitely would not be as happy as I am today. Following my passions that I love surrounded by people that I love, I don’t think I could ask for any more…

I could go on and on about more random crap, but I think I’ll cut it off for here right now. I’ve actually got some ideas brewing about more structured blogs that I’d like to write, so keep an eye out for those. Coming to a computer screen near you! (Unless you’re viewing this from an app on your phone or something)

Late Sauce.

Life in Numbers [24].

Twenty four hours in a day. Twenty four beers in a case. Twenty four carats in the finest purity of gold. Twenty four years in my life.

It’s pretty weird to me thinking about the fact that I’m already twenty four years old. It’s easy to say that I’m still so young, I’m only twenty four, but then again that’s all relative. Under the assumption that I’ll be living till I’m at least a hundred years old, then yes, I’m only a fourth of the way through my life, but we usually don’t know how long we’re going to live or how much time we have left. If I was to find out today that I have cancer and have just under twelve months to live, that would dramatically change my outlook on life; I would have gone from having lived only 25% of my life to having already lived 96%. This is why I try my best to live in the present and not think too far ahead or behind. Appreciate life for what it is now, it’s too short to worry about where you’re going or where you’ve been. 

This being said, I feel like my past twenty four years of life have been defined in just the past four or five. Up until I entered college, my life was as mundane and uneventful as you could get. I never did anything, I had very few friends, all I did was stay at home, watch TV, and play video games. When I entered college… technically not even then, it wasn’t till my second year of college… it felt like my life suddenly went into hyperdrive. All of the experiences that people tend to have in high school, I didn’t have till then.

Friends— social life— work— alcohol— independence— love— heartbreak— failure.

I feel like I was suddenly given this crash course on what life means, and let me tell you, at times it really wasn’t easy. 90% of my life so far has been on cruise control; I never really had to make an effort in school, didn’t have any work or social life to worry about, and then I was finally given a chance to get behind the wheel and take control. Just like driver’s ed, it was a difficult learning experience. Over the course of these few years, there have been many bumps and potholes in the road along the way, but over the past year, I feel like I’ve finally really started to get the hang of it. So far though, my car still has the Student Driver sticker on it. I’m working my way up there, one day I’ll get my license.

Time is nothing but a number, it’s up to us to get the most that we can out of it.

88 mph.

If I went back in time…

I could focus harder and do more work at the beginning of college.
I could graduate when I was supposed to.
I could make my parents proud.
I could save so much money.
I could be on the path to high-paying medical career.
I could keep strong friendships that have waned.
I could fix my mistakes.

But if I went back in time…

I wouldn’t be a developing graphic designer.
I wouldn’t have formed many of the relationships I have now.
I wouldn’t be with this great girl.
I wouldn’t have made my mistakes.
I wouldn’t have learned my lessons.
I wouldn’t be who I am today. 

We are all time travelers; although we can only move forward, one day at a time. No regrets, learn from the past to build a better future.

So Long Sweet Summer.

Most students have been back in session for about a month now, but I’m just getting back to my first day tomorrow. I was bumming out about it a little bit today when it hit me, but now, at the end of the day, I’m starting to look forward to it. I’m excited to have work to do again and I’m really excited about how my weekly routine will go, if all goes as planned. And after all this time off, I must say, this really was one of the best summers I’ve had in a long time.

I may not have traveled to anywhere exotic, or done anything extravagant, or been overall as productive as I had originally planned, but I think that the things I did, with the people I was with, and the memories I created, this summer was one for the record books. From jam sessions with new and old friends, to the countless late nights of doing practically nothing at all, I really feel like I used my time to the fullest. While I may not have done everything on my to-do list (namely reading more and saving money), I still have no regrets. 

If I had to choose one word to sum up the events of the past four months, it would definitely have to be Friends. For me, this summer was all about making new friends, reuniting with old friends, and strengthening the bonds of existing friendships. All in all though, I’d have to say that one of the biggest events for me (and I apologize because I know I keep bringing this up, but honestly I can’t help it) was meeting and developing this amazing relationship with a girl. From the conversations we have, the conversations we don’t have (just enjoying each others’ company in silence), the experiences we share, I wouldn’t have had it happen any other way. As corny as it may sound (and I know she’s learned to expect these things from me), the time we spent together was priceless. Our entire friendship may only be half a year old, but I seriously feel like I’ve known her for years. 

Noel, I know you’ll read this at some point, and I know I’ve already told you this, but thank you again for helping make this one of my best summers. This on the other hand, is something that I haven’t told you yet, it goes hand-in-hand with something you asked me the other day: (Cliché? Yes, maybe, but does it make it any less true? No.) You make me want to work harder and try to be a better person. This is something I haven’t felt for a while, and it’s nice to have the feeling back. Thanks for being with me Girlfriend ^_^

So, as my last waking moments of summer fade away, I breathe in summer and exhale autumn; when I wake up I’ll be starting another whole new chapter in my book of life. As a side note, I have a lot of new stuff coming up relatively soon, including a new blog project, so keep an eye out for that. 

Late sauce.